Longingly, the little girl stares through a hole in the wooden fence.
An insatiable, gnawing, deep longing takes possession of her.
A boundless yearning, without knowing for what.
Everything is there in her life, yet it is never enough.
Fretful, far away in her inner dream world.
Dissatisfied, without knowing why.
Trapped, anxious, lonely, isolated from everything and everyone.
Critical eyes all around telling her that something is seriously wrong with her.
That she is not smart, not good enough, not beautiful.
She starts trying harder.
Almost not daring to breathe, she tiptoes around so as not to be noticed.
The prison gate closes slowly.
Further and further.
Then suddenly something breaks open.
An untold beauty bursts right through that gnawing longing.
Dazzling light, quiet peace, deafening joy.
She tries to capture it, to hold on to that ‘peaceful light and joy’.
But the more she tries her best, the more it eludes her.
Holding onto it, writing it down!
This feeling, this sensation I must write down before it slips away from me!
I experience how ‘I’ suddenly disappears.
Thoughts are totally absent in my head.
Everything dances, sings, moves extremely slowly.
Nothing has a name.
There is no time.
No good, bad, beautiful or ugly.
The scents and colours are of indescribable intensity.
Inaudibly, the trees whisper and the grass rustles.
Thousand-coloured stones dance together in an enchanting melody.
Stars, ocean, moon, animals… everything dissolves into a shimmering ball of beauty and harmony.
Glistening sand slips through my fingers.
The little one and I melt together
The lie of separation broken
The illusion seen through
Free at last!
Prose poem by Ma Deva Indra