Drunk without alcohol

This new freedom makes me drunk and I want to share my happiness! To be so happy without matter, without a house and without money is unprecedented. A good friend offers a temporary place in her home and an opportunity turns up so that I can work as an independent therapist. The municipality offers me a starters’ loan and a house soon follows. Dizzy with happiness, without understanding what is happening, I am aware of an ever-present loving consciousness that watches and oversees everything. I manage to let go of control and enjoy everything that comes to me effortlessly. Writing helps me to stay on my feet and be present for others.

In the meantime, I am aware of my need for spiritual nourishment. I watch and listen to videos about awakened people with Osho as my favourite. In one of his spontaneous discourses he talks about ‘The Seven Points of Mindtraining’, the ancient Buddhist wisdom about discovering the influence of thoughts. I want to know everything about that!

Shortly after hearing Osho speak on this theme, an announcement in Osho News catches my eye. Coincidence or not, but there are still a few places available for a training that takes place in India precisely on this topic! I register and leave for India with a sense of excitement and wonder. My adventure has begun!

The day after arriving at the Ashram in Kathmandu, the training starts early in the morning (6:00 am!). The principal language is English and my head spins from the enormous amount of information. To organize my thoughts, I scribble some notes. After the official training hours, I rush to my room where I work on these sparse notes with increasing excitement.
While walking through the beautiful gardens of the Ashram, I get involved in an embarrassing and confronting incident — a strange and highly unexpected interaction with one of the executives. Despite the discomfort and pain, I am aware that this experience offers an opportunity to put into practice the material presented in the training. Immediately the tension decreases. My head clears and I experience profound tranquillity.

Once back in the Netherlands, I enthusiastically tell my friends about my experience. They also get excited and encourage me to write a book about it — an idea which I immediately reject. Me, write a book? Yet the thought never leaves me. I realize that I’m actually already writing, so what’s stopping me from making it public? After some self-examination it is clear: I will no longer let limiting thoughts hold me back. After all, I have known for a long time that the insatiable desire for eternal fulfilment, ultimate freedom and permanent truth is my calling. The thought of inspiring others from my direct experience makes me excited and happy. Then something happens that puts an immediate stop to writing…

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