To finish my book, I go off to Florida for three months. There I work on my book in peace, alternating with relaxing walks.
One day, returning from my walk, I slip on the wet kitchen floor and in the process I fall with a heavy blow on the lower back and back of my head. For a while it seems to be not too bad — ‘just’ concussion and some bruises. I could simply take it easy and even write while in bed. That’s what I thought. But the headaches take over. Concentrated writing is no longer possible. Cycling, driving, even walking becomes difficult for me.
The journey back to the Netherlands is exhausting and I can barely keep going.
In the weeks and months after the accident, the dizziness in my head increases. My body is always tense and reacts more and more strongly to food and stimuli. After various examinations and scans, a brain injury is finally diagnosed that is the cause of low-grade inflammation. A blood test indicates ‘leaky gut’ with a significant gluten intolerance. That has a major impact, also because recovery seems virtually impossible. Even bed rest, adjusted nutrition and therapeutic interventions have little or no effect.
Grateful for all loving care, the days pass by while I lie in bed most of the time with my eyes closed. Sad that I am no longer able to read or write, I wonder where my freedom has led. I long to finally put my spinning thoughts to rest. But how do I do that? Meditation only provides peace for a short time. What did I learn during the training about thoughts?